ABC University

Welcome to ABC University -
a great place to get a manufactured degree
with little effort but lots of money.

After receiving your bank deposit
and conducting a few perfunctory tests
you'll receive a student number
and nominal syllabus.

Lessons are in sterile, stuffy rooms
by undistinguished staff unclear what to do.

Semester finals consist of hazy, multiple-choice mazes
full of ambiguity 'n error –
but hey, we churn out grades!

We're proud of our university's rich heritage –
and especially our wealthy alumni
who protect the status quo
insuring that
a fixed quota of bodies pass through our doors
'n commercialism thrives.

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Melissa: Is this satire or fact?
Liao: I duuno, but aren't many schools partly this way?
Satoru: That's unfortunate, cause it taints the whole notion of education.
Liao: There's a bit of "ABC University" in every university – the issue is a matter of degree.