Grandma Barton Gets Excited About Armageddon

Whun I wus groovin up money yuurs ago
thu warld seemd eazier ta undurstand –
Scriptures told us whut ta do
n whure sinners go.

Indeed, it's all in the Book ah Revolution!
Judgment Day iz ad hand!
Get yer potato chips, humbuggers, 'n charcools
ready ya hear
'cus I feel it in me bones –

The Barbecue Ahead 's Gonna B Magnificent!
The Lord is a-cummin und is He's In Full Command!
Yep, godless folks are gonna kno
Jehovah's Wrath 'n Ire!

I jus can't wait for Armageddon –
it'll be soo excitin ta behooold!
Bombs flyin everywhure
as duh Heavens turn Gold!

Git ready, Christian Brethren!
A beautiful war is at hand!
We're gonna meet Our Maker!
The Rapture is So Excitin!
as we poison the sea 'n air 'n land!