Grandma Barton Gets Excited About Armageddon

Whun I wus groovin up money yuurs ago
thu warld seemd eazier ta undurstand –
Scriptures told us whut ta do
n whure sinners go.

Indeed, it's all in the Book ah Revolution!
Judgment Day iz ad hand!
Get yer potato chips, humbuggers, 'n charcools
ready ya hear
'cus I feel it in me bones –

The Barbecue Ahead 's Gonna B Magnificent!
The Lord is a-cummin und is He's In Full Command!
Yep, godless folks are gonna kno
Jehovah's Wrath 'n Ire!

I jus can't wait for Armageddon –
it'll be soo excitin ta behooold!
Bombs flyin everywhure
as duh Heavens turn Gold!

Git ready, Christian Brethren!
A beautiful war is at hand!
We're gonna meet Our Maker!
The Rapture is So Excitin!
as we poison the sea 'n air 'n land!

Ted:	(shaking his head) I find no humor here. In fact, this sort of worldview seems sick!
Sam:	Relax! All ideology is ultimately a joke.
Terri:	We've gotta be careful with myths 'cause dey haf a way ah comin' true.
Kris:	The Doomsday myths ah Christianity, Judaism, and Islam each point towards a bifurcated future that's unhealthy.
Tim:	Yep! Whatever our fate is, one thing I feel certain of is that we'll share it together. Like it or not, we are connected 'n share a common destiny.