INTERVIEW WITH A MODEL TEACHER: An educational satire John Dilliard was interviewed recently by the principal of Patriot Valley Elementary School to fill a vacancy for a social studies teacher. Though fresh out of college and wet behind the ears, he stood above the other candidates. (The fact that his uncle was mayor of Patriot Valley was, of course, entirely coincidental.) Here's the abridged interview. Examiner: Why are you interested in becoming a teacher, John? Applicant: I love kids. Examiner: God bless you. Any other reasons? Applicant: I also love my country and want our next generation to be proud of their roots. Examiner: Good. And how would you handle kids who don't feel that way? Applicant: Well, we have to respect people even if they disagree with our beliefs. Also, we need to inform others of conditions elsewhere around the world. Once students understand what's happening elsewhere, they might appreciate how precious their freedoms are. Of course, a few will be cynically unpatriotic no matter what we do. Examiner: And how do you recommend dealing with such students? Applicant: With tolerance and periodic challenges. I don't mind a bit of feisty rebellion. In many ways it's good for young folks, but they also need to learn to focus. Examiner: As a social studies teacher, what do you see as the main social issues our society is facing? Applicant: Well, basically all societies face the same issues – how to allocate limited resources for a growing population. More and more people want a slice of the pie, but unfortunately the pie itself isn't expanding as fast as our population. As George Bush wisely said, that means making tough choices. And to make good choices, proper moral values are needed. Examiner: Are you willing to coach football? Applicant: Of course. Nothing could be more important. Football is a great way to let off steam. It also teaches kids about discipline and teamwork. After all, life is one big football game. We need to raise more energetic, loyal, and resourceful team players. Too many kids I see lack team spirit and are unwilling to tackle tough challenges. ===================================================================================== from _Crassroom Voices - Poetry, Art, & Dialogs about Education_ by T Newfields SUMMARY: A fictionalized satirical interview with an aspiring teacher KEYWORDS: teacher hiring criteria, teacher screening, instructor expectations Author: T Newfields [Nitta Hirou / Huáng Yuèwǔ] (b. 1955) Begun: 2006 in Tokyo, Japan / Finished: 2018 in Yokohama, Japan Creative Commons License: Attribution. {{CC-BY-4.0}} Granted < LAST http://www.tnewfields.info/CrassroomVoices/clyde.htm TOC http://www.tnewfields.info/CrassroomVoices/index.html NEXT > http://www.tnewfields.info/CrassroomVoices/clid.htm