1.
Rejoice among brethren - the social connections might be useful.
2.
Regard gossip as "divine concern" and rumor as "inspired testimony."
3.
Condemn non-believers for enjoying what you can't.
4.
Contemplate the ephemeral nature of life and the eternal nature of vice.
5.
Rejoice in the Spirit - particularly good ol' Jim Beam's.
6.
If your faith is challenged, confess: "I am just a liddle ol' sinner an' victim ah Adam's Mistake But thank's ta Lord Jesus Everythang's more or less OK!"
Chances are you'll be warmly welcomed
to most congregations where kindred spirits reign.
to most congregations where kindred spirits reign.