SECRETS OF MEN: Some thoughts about male gender

I suspect most men are 90% monkeys about 90% of the time –
yet in the moments they manage to rise above it all
it's amazing what can be achieved:
a man with clarity, discrimination, and determination is almost invincible.

No matter how civilized they appear on the surface,
most men are hunter-warriors at heart.
Governments, churches, and corporations merely train them
to "hunt" and "do battle" in socially acceptable ways.

Most men relish a good crusade since it allows them to focus their energies.
In fact, many will go out of their ways to create needless crusades –
they thrive on the challenge.
Foolish men enter more crusades than they can handle;
wise ones are very careful about choosing which battles they fight.

Without a common enemy or rival
many men seem incapable of deep camaraderie:
they need a mutual adversary to overcome isolation
& at times "fighting" itself is their way of "talking".
The deepest fights, however, don't involve physical weapons:
the ultimate battles are about identity & allegiance.

Most men, in their best moments at least, manage to suspend past conditioning
& become vessels capable of empathy, discipline, and focus.
This is when they're at their best.
At their worst, they are indeed primitive brutes.

Rare is the woman who appreciates the joy of simple, austere emptiness
in which absolutely nothing needs to be said, done, or considered.
Rare is the man who can chat about a dozen different topics at once & still maintain focus.

The best way to know a man is to discover his battlefield.
Some battle for knowledge, others for money, and still others for social causes.
A man with no battles is either an idiot or a saint.

Would you rather die passionately in battle for a transpersonal cause that seems important,
or fade into obscurity on a hospital bed?
A "righteous battle" that one feels wholly committed to is superior to sex.
The problem is, what seems like a "righteous battle" to one person
often seems like foolish nonsense to another person.

If they're going to have sex, most men prefer to do it with 100% focus
as if nothing else in the universe mattered at that moment:
half-hearted intimacy is a waste of time.

Wise men are cautious about sharing their secrets with others –
women in particular find it hard to grasp their core
& few are willing accept a man as he is
without trying to
"reform" or "civilize" him.

At times I suspect men aren't actually made to be fully civilized:
they are diamonds in the rough.
Civilization generally tries to "cut" and "polish" us into conventional patterns.
However, during this process most of us lose out innate vigor
& end up looking like cheap imitation stones rather than actual diamonds.

Cindy:   (shaking her head) These stereotypes about gender are misleading.

Aiko:    (nodding) I agree! And who said there are merely two genders?

Bai-Luo: Well, perhaps we should think of language use in terms of economics. 
         In some ways, human consciousness is like a marketplace in which many thoughts 
         compete for our attention. Detailed descriptions of anything are time-consuming 
         and require close attention to detail. Few people are willing to invest the 
         mental energy in such time-consuming transactions. Indeed, most verbal 
         transactions are semi-automatic, with only minimal awareness invested in any 
         verbal exchange. In short, stereotypes are a sort of "shorthand" sacrificing 
         accuracy for expediency.

Don:     Quite so! I think stereotypes are generally easier to "transact" than careful, 
         analytic thoughts. For this reason, they are likely to continue.

Cindy:   (getting impatient) Dang! Both of your minds are so closed! Are you humans or reptiles?

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from _Love Poems: Nonsense from the Heart_  
SUMMARY: Some aphorisms about male identity and conversation about gender stereotypes and pragmatic discourse.
KEYWORDS: gender & identity, pragmatic discourse, stereotypes, performance of masculinity

Author: T Newfields [Nitta Hirou / Huáng Yuèwǔ] (b. 1955)
Begun: 2006 in  Tokyo, Japan  / Finished: 2017 in Yokohama, Japan
Creative Commons License: Attribution. {{CC-BY-4.0}} Granted

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TRANSLATIONS

ESPAÑOL:  https://www.tnewfields.info/es/hombres.htm
NIHONGO:  https://www.tnewfields.info/jp/otoko.htm
ZHŌNGWÉN: https://www.tnewfields.info/zh/nanren.htm