ARMS MERCHANT - An advertisement from the April 11, 1997 issue of Profitable  Murder´Ż¬ magazine.

"We have many attractive weapons available at prices that blast all competition away. Looking for high-performance merchandise? Call us at 120-66-6666 today. For generations our company has profiteered products packing a powerful sting. We're a leader in the murder business & are confident of our products – customer satisfaction is guaranteed.

Our most popular product is the X-30 anti-personnel device: a marvelous piece of technology with a 500 meter range. Ideal for protracted conflicts, it can be installed in minutes and functions in many terrains.

Another best-seller is our Zapster missile: a feisty bugger that silences targets with speed. It delivers a 10 kg. explosive core within seconds and has sophisticated correctional feeds.

You'll also be pleased with our RZ-2000 maser, which puts the future in your hands. It delivers twenty five gigawatt bursts per second and can be operated on sea, air, or land. With multiple targeting, it can take care of several objects simultaneously after a few simple commands.

These are but a few of our superb products. For more information, contact us at We provide discrete services – give us a call and see."