Invasion of the Alien Lettuce - an art work by T Newfields
Mutant vegetables from outer space
are invading our green planet
& there's no escape
for anyone clinging

Some will be transformed into fiery peppers
whose sialic acids spawn cancers
around the world

Others will turn into puffed-up potatoes
whose rancid roots burst
from their disease-infested cores

Still others will mutate into noxious ivy
itching for relief
from an emptiness they abhor

Only a few garbanzos & lentils
rooted in bean-nature
will be unfazed by what comes:
no matter how weird the garden appears
some beans stay grounded
to ancient bedrock
even if
diced, fried, or grated
they calmly face everything
undaunted by sharp knives of logic
or kitchen flames

Kasim: Aliens from outer space? That sounds weird!
Will: Actually, we are the aliens. We need to merge the consciousness of this planet to our consciousness to promote peace.
Kasim: (farting loudly) How can you merge the consciousness of a whole planet into a single human brain?
Will: We are more than our brains . . . and mergers and acquisitions are happening at the cosmic level all the time.
Kasim: (sarcastically) Dang! Haven't you been reading too many weird comic books?