Invasion of the Alien Lettuce - an art work by T Newfields
Warning!
Mutant vegetables from outer space
are invading our green planet
& there's no escape
for anyone clinging

Some will be transformed into fiery peppers
whose sialic acids spawn cancers
around the world

Others will turn into puffed-up potatoes
whose rancid roots burst
from their disease-infested cores

Still others will mutate into noxious ivy
itching for relief
from an emptiness they abhor

Only a few garbanzos & lentils
rooted in bean-nature
will be unfazed by what comes:
no matter how weird the garden appears
some beans stay grounded
to ancient bedrock
&
even if
diced, fried, or grated
they calmly face everything
undaunted by sharp knives of logic
or kitchen flames

Kasim: Aliens from outer space? That sounds weird!
Will: Actually, we are the aliens. We need to merge the consciousness of this planet to our consciousness to promote peace.
Kasim: (farting loudly) How can you merge the consciousness of a whole planet into a single human brain?
Will: We are more than our brains . . . and mergers and acquisitions are happening at the cosmic level all the time.
Kasim: (sarcastically) Dang! Haven't you been reading too many weird comic books?