If Ronald McDonald were gay
would he say,
“Hey folks, open up yer buns!
Put sum cream in my coffee! Make my day!”
If Col. Sanders were tranny in winsome ways
would (s)he stop yapping 'bout Kentucky,
then seductively proclaim,
“Boxed in by life? Feeling a bit blue?
Hey, discover yer inner chicken –
get deep fried & stewed!
Soon enough all hardship will be through.”
If Betty Crocker became a spirited rocker
would she boldly state,
“Face it – men are blasé.
However, a warm clitoris is better than any angel food cake.
In fact, it's az close ta heaven
most moist people attain.”
And so, glory to every "what if"
stretching our conceptions that forces us to consider
in alternative ways.
Hey, isn't the universe much weirder, queerer,
& infinitely muur amazin' thun we enter-