||(with chagrin) Gurus are not market commodities!
||(non-chalantly) Well, seems like everything in dis world iz fer sale.
||That may be, but a true guru is not in this world. Their body is here, but consciousness elsewhere. Don't you realize that?
||(sighing) Ah, then enjoy your candy bars. . .
Gurus are perfect contradictions
with tantalizing incongruities.
If reality seems too bland
or life lacks sufficient flavor
why not try a Guru BarTM or
or chakra-experience that can be savored?
Guru BarsTM come in many sizes
and are sold in countless ways.
Experience transcendental bliss:
find a guru who is fresh 'n crisp
bringing a shakti-flavor
to aspirants wishing to savor
out ah dis world!