What If?

An exploration of alternative realities

WHAT IF? - an artwork by T Newfields
If Ronald McDonald were gay
would he say,
“Hey folks, open up yer buns!
Put sum cream in my coffee!
Make my day!”

If Col. Sanders were tranny in wacky ways
would she stop yapping 'bout Kentucky,
then seductively proclaim,
“Boxed in by life?
Feeling a bit blue?
Hey, discover yer inner chicken –
get deep fried & spiced up!
Soon all hardship will be through.”

If Betty Crocker became a spirited rocker
would she boldly state,
“Face it – men are blasé.
However, a warm clitoris
is better than angel food cake.
In fact, it's az close ta heaven
most moist people attain.”

And so, glory to
every "what if?"
that stretches our conceptions
and forces us to consider
things in new ways.

Hey,
isn't the universe
much weirder,
queerer,
& infinitely
muur amazin'
thun we enter-
tain?