How to Grill a Teacher

  1. First sweeten the subject with a few perfunctory words. Make sure to mention that you're conducting scientific research that will have "important classroom consequences".

  2. Lightly glaze the surface with a few harmless jokes & cursory smiles.

  3. Preheat the oven to 450o and prepare a suitably-sized containment device – gauge 9 galvinized steel works well.

  4. Immobilize the subject with a few thought-provoking questions, then at an appropriate pause, obtain a six-inch slice with no bones about it.

  5. Perform a series of complex analyses to assess the weight of the remaining parts, reflecting on which can safely be removed from the sample.

  6. Daftly remove any excess fat and replace it with rhetorical stuffing.

  7. Cook the subject for one 90-minute period until light brown.

  8. Finally, calculate the total weight then discard findings that seem insignificant.

  9. If you are feeling exhuberant, change a few decimal points. The audience reaction will either be a yawn or "DIGAF?"

  10. Discuss your research results at a suitable venue, and make it clear you are always looking for more research subjects.


Satoru: This seems jolly and light-hearted on the surface, but on the depths there seems to be a deep sense of anger and animosity.
Tim: Maybe it is the opposite? There animosity it superficial. At there depths there is laughter and light-heartedness.
Liao: I guess we see what we want to see.